After 4 years of endless ups and downs, accompanied by emotional swings, I finally stepped into the free bachelor life and realized that I had no idea what to do next. Clearing my head of my previous object of affection, living for myself for a few months, and strengthening my financial position, I began to notice that everything was great except for the lack of a kindred spirit to share joys and sorrows with, or just to watch a show under a warm blanket together. In short, I felt lonely.
Realization of Social Skills
Around the same time as my timid attempts to establish communication with the opposite sex began, I realized that I had no idea how to meet them. Sure, these thoughts had crossed my mind before, but I was in a relationship then and it didn’t concern me much. I had no other adequate experience except for a couple of brief encounters, one of which turned into a very painful ghosting experience from her side.
About Me
Briefly about myself: a young guy with a creative soul, shorter than average but with a pleasant appearance and voice. The most frequent characteristic I received from the female sex was “cute.” But, as a friend later explained to me, for a man, this is not much of a compliment. With all these factors, I always achieved friendly communication and occasional light flirting at work and in rare social gatherings. However, when trying to cross this barrier, women often gave me the cold shoulder. I took a couple of girls to a decent restaurant at my expense: joked, showed interest in their lives, talked about myself and my hobbies without going overboard. But after the date, communication didn’t continue. The sad part was that I didn’t get any feedback; the most concrete thing I heard was that the girl hadn’t let go of her past relationships yet (although she was fine with going on a date to a restaurant).
Challenges with Online Dating
Dating sites, on the other hand, make me nervous, as does online chatting in general, because I don’t know how to approach it. I feel most comfortable when talking to someone in person, especially if we have something in common right away (like a music concert). Online, I don’t understand what to write to capture the interlocutor’s interest: banal “hi-how are you” is boring, unconventional prepared phrases are unnatural, talking about interests is hard when girls often have photos without descriptions. Maybe the problem is in me, but I lose interest in chatting quickly, the conversation becomes dull and lifeless. What I do often doesn’t interest anyone except myself, so it seems like I have nothing to tell about myself, my achievements, and skills. Although I know this isn’t true.
Seeking Guidance
It would be easier if there was some standardized information on how to approach communication because different sources (including friends, girls on Pikabu, pick-up gurus) give completely different advice. Many advise just to keep trying, but I take each unsuccessful experience to heart, and that’s my problem.
Self-Improvement Efforts
The funniest thing is that people around me see a bright social person in me, who hosts events, is easy-going and communicative. In reality, I’m full of doubts and fears. I don’t want to be anyone else but myself, but as I am now, I’m not particularly interesting to the opposite sex. So, I try to remove excessive “cuteness” from my character, become a bit tougher, and simultaneously study the experience of those who have succeeded more than I have. I started going to the gym to boost my self-esteem, studying English, and occasionally allowing myself to approach a girl I like in a bar and try to take a gentle rejection as a small victory over myself.
Conclusion
What is your experience, dear users? I intended to write a brief post, yet here we are with a more extensive one, as usual. Kudos to those celebrating February 14th as more than just another weekday! For others, remain steadfast—remember, the journey is conquered by those who persevere.
In light of self-improvement and navigating the challenges of dating and social interactions, the author highlights the importance of perseverance and self-confidence. For more insights on senior chat online, feel free to visit our website.
